Thread: Buyer turns out to loosely know seller - what to do?

You didn't say whether or not you had an accepted offer on the "church acquaintance" house. Also, what were the stipulations in the contract? Do the sellers have the right to cancel your contract?

As a buyer, I can see where you are coming from with your attempt. But as an experienced agent, I can tell you that the pros don't outweigh the cons when it comes to buyers talking directly to sellers, even if just a "hello we're buying your home." That initial contact leads to more contact, especially since you go to the same church. I'd say leave it alone and let things take their course.

thanks for the advice. I see your point.

We actually made the offer on the "aquaintance house" not knowing they are an acquaintance. They accepted our offer, I believe in the same way - not knowing and proabably still not knowing.

Keep it that way. They may be thinking, "Oh man, they go to our church? We didn't disclose *everything* about the house...oh crap..." and out of some moral/spiritual guilty conscience, they may decide to botch your deal so that they won't have to face you in church on a regular basis. Get my point?

While I certainly respect MR1's replys, on the flip side, it could be a good thing to have the sellers know who you are. There are sellers who actually care about what kind of people are going to buy and live in their home, and this could work to your benefit. If you have an agent, he/she could approach the subject with the other agent and get their thoughts, kind of "feel them out" to see if it would be a good thing to mention. The listing agent should know their seller well enough to give an opinion. It is against proper protocol though to have contact directly with a seller if there are agents involved, so I would advise against that. At the end of the day, I think you just need to decide what feels right to you. Good luck.

Let's take a look at why your suggestion is a bad idea. I know you qualified it by saying, "could be a good idea" but you didn't weigh the pros with the cons.

1. For the sellers to know that the buyers attend their same church does not qualify for "knowing them." The OP stated they were only acquainted. Do you attend church? The "kind of people" who go to church are some of the most criminal and guilt ridden folks in the community. I know of child molesters, murderers, and many other felons who attend church. Your presumed premise, "attends church = good person" is a false premise.

2. For the buyer's agent to contact the seller's agent to "get a leg up" is proof positive that the buyer is "hooked" on the house. You'd be giving away your negotiating power with that one unwise move alone.

Sorry, just not good advice there. I'd leave the acquaintance left unsaid.

At the end of the day, I think you just need to decide what feels right to you.

At the end of the day, what "feels right" is often contradictory to what "should be done." A "feel right" philosophy very rarely points to an avenue of integrity.

Based on the original post, buyer mentioned they found the "perfect" house and had already negotiated a price. Therefore, I see no loss of negotiating power by talking to the listing agent if these particular buyers feel the need. "Some", not "most" people feel good knowing their home is being bought by someone they feel good about. Personally, I wouldn't care who bought my house as long as I got my price, but some people do. I have had this happen, with a contingency offer. The seller got to know who my buyer was ( my buyer actually instructed me on his own will to give the seller a personal letter from him accompanied by a photo of his family ), and this actually caused the seller to warm up to him and make him feel good about selling to his family and bent over backwards to make the deal work for my buyer. Sure, most people only care about $ they walk away with, but every situation is different. In most cases, it would probably be best to not mention anything at this point. Every situation is different and the buyers must be comfortable with any decision they make knowing the pros and cons of reaching out to the sellers. Enjoy the day.

Originally Posted by dan schuman

Based on the original post, buyer mentioned they found the "perfect" house and had already negotiated a price. Therefore, I see no loss of negotiating power by talking to the listing agent if these particular buyers feel the need.

I believe you are forgetting about the second round of negotiations - also where many deals fail ---> the home inspection. Even after the whole back and forth with the home inspection negotiations, I've seen "day of closing" negotiations when a termite letter came in and the entire house needed to be treated (lender won't allow spot treatments) and now there was an extra $1,100 that the seller needed to come up with. Why on earth would you think the negotiations stop the moment there's an accepted offer?.

"Some", not "most" people feel good knowing their home is being bought by someone they feel good about.

I think you missed my point. They wouldn't feel good about someone just because they go to the same church. The seller's don't know the buyers. Again, "go to church" does not equal "good person."

Personally, I wouldn't care who bought my house as long as I got my price, but some people do. I have had this happen, with a contingency offer. The seller got to know who my buyer was ( my buyer actually instructed me on his own will to give the seller a personal letter from him accompanied by a photo of his family ), and this actually caused the seller to warm up to him and make him feel good about selling to his family and bent over backwards to make the deal work for my buyer.

And you keep catering to those type whims from ridiculous buyers and sellers and you'll find yourself wrapped up in a discrimination suit real quick like. If the photo was of some African American buyers, or Muslim family and the Caucasian Catholic seller said "no" to them, you'd bet your behind you'd be wrapped up in a discrimination suit. I can't believe you agreed to do that.

Sure, most people only care about $ they walk away with, but every situation is different. In most cases, it would probably be best to not mention anything at this point.

Yes, exactly what I said from the beginning.

Every situation is different and the buyers must be comfortable with any decision they make knowing the pros and cons of reaching out to the sellers. Enjoy the day.

Of course every situation is different. The goal here was to find out what was unique to this situation and then start weighing some pros and cons based on specific information.

Have a great Sunday as well. It's sunny and 75F degrees where I am. Love this nice weather.

I see no problem with talking to them. Don't ask your agent, they will get paranoid because so many agents like to think they are in control and want to keep the buyers and sellers separated.

Originally Posted by Greg

I see no problem with talking to them.

Well, when you don't think it through, and you don't list any pros, and you don't list any cons, and sum everything up with two sentences, I suppose there's a lot of "see no problem" going on.

Don't ask your agent,

Are you a Realtor? If so, you'd be the first I've ever heard to recommend to a buyer/seller that they go around their agent, converse, and do it on the sly.

they will get paranoid because so many agents like to think they are in control and want to keep the buyers and sellers separated.

Paranoia has absolutely nothing to do with it. Ignorance does. If they've hired an agent because they believe their agent is looking out for their client's best interest, then they should let the agent do the contacting. It's just common sense. That last statement of yours sounded a lot like a blanket statement. I sure would like for you to show me with some pros and cons that not keeping the buyers and sellers separated, by and large, is a good idea.

Regards.