View Full Version : Realtor/Real Estate jokes
flhousesuk
01-15-2008, 06:54 PM
Any Realtor or RE jokes/funnies i can share with my clients during some of the more depressing times?! Anything that may help lighten the mood!
Macye Kirkpatrick
01-25-2008, 06:55 AM
This couple was in the process of a divorice and decided to sell the family home of which they owned out right and split the profit and move on. The husband had left his wife for his secretary and wanted the divorice.
The wife being a realtor told the husband she take care of it and he signed all necessary paperwork. She listed the house for $1000.00 and sold it and sent him his half $500.00. This home was worth over $300,000.00.
OregonLO
01-25-2008, 10:45 AM
OMG!! haha...that is why you should keep a closer eye on something like that during a divorce! wow. that certainly didn't work out too well in his favor
krolfe
01-29-2008, 09:04 AM
I was just wondering, was it the wife that bought the house? If so, brilliant! If not, she only got $500 also so it wouldn't be very smart.
HardMoneyDr
02-01-2008, 02:58 PM
That is pretty funny if it were true. I can't imagine that something like that would ever be allowed to happen..., but you never can tell....
rubystone
02-06-2008, 06:13 PM
A real estate agent was knocking on doors of homes in his farm area. At one house it was clear that someone was at home, but his repeated knocks at the door went unanswered. So, he took out one of his business cards and scribbled "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it, stuck it in the door, and went about his rounds.
When he got back to the office the next day, the receptionist gave him a business card. It was his own, and he recognised the "Revelation 3:20" he wrote the day before. In a very neat handwriting, a cryptic message was added: "Genesis 3:10".
Later, when checking the Bible verse, he couldn't help but break into gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."
Genesis 3:10 reads: "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
FlipItBig
03-02-2008, 09:34 AM
Now that's funny!! I may have to steal that one.... I don't have any jokes, but I did have a funny/sad conversation with a friend the other day.
Friend: You'll never guess who greeted me the other day at Wal Mart
Me: Who??
Friend: My realtor, Bob!!
Me: Oh Bob! How is Bob doing?
Friend: Not so good, he was actually the greeter at Wal Mart!! :o
adamwealth
03-06-2008, 07:44 AM
ha! Thank you, I'm always looking for a good laugh. Keep the jokes coming everyone!
JJohnson1985
03-13-2008, 01:34 PM
Thanks for posting those, I needed a few laughs :D
But then I think about being a greater at Wal-Mart ..... ahhh..... the happiness was short lived. :(
kytine8888
03-28-2008, 06:56 AM
This is a funny story. So nice people still remember to share some stories to make others laugh
This couple was in the process of a divorice and decided to sell the family home of which they owned out right and split the profit and move on. The husband had left his wife for his secretary and wanted the divorice.
The wife being a realtor told the husband she take care of it and he signed all necessary paperwork. She listed the house for $1000.00 and sold it and sent him his half $500.00. This home was worth over $300,000.00.
This can't be true. LOL :p
A real estate agent was knocking on doors of homes in his farm area. At one house it was clear that someone was at home, but his repeated knocks at the door went unanswered. So, he took out one of his business cards and scribbled "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it, stuck it in the door, and went about his rounds.
When he got back to the office the next day, the receptionist gave him a business card. It was his own, and he recognised the "Revelation 3:20" he wrote the day before. In a very neat handwriting, a cryptic message was added: "Genesis 3:10".
Later, when checking the Bible verse, he couldn't help but break into gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."
Genesis 3:10 reads: "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
lol.............
jvcus17
07-13-2008, 08:18 PM
yeah this one is funny i love it though...the users are right, i agree that this joke is so funny..love it..
rainier
07-22-2008, 06:00 AM
hey are great and very funny!thanks for sharing guys!
MrREO
08-01-2008, 11:49 AM
The kind of jokes I tell can't be repeated here...
Dallas Broker
08-04-2008, 02:45 PM
Here is a good one...also I recommend checking out this site, has some great real estate jokes. this is just one I thought was good, the difference between perception and actuality in real estate. you'll find this one under apartment and rent section. www.realestatehumor.com (http://www.realestatehumor.com)
---A property manager dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells him "You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before deciding." So he chooses to check out hell first.
He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and doing the limbo (and nobody's doing the Macarena!). Everyone is laughing and having a great time.
Next St. Peter takes him up to heaven to look around. Everything is white and pristine. People are speaking softly about philosophy and mathematical formulas. Others are simply contemplative and serene. He's bored in about five minutes.
St. Peter then says to the property manager, "I want you to sleep on it and meet me back here in the morning to let me know your decision." The next morning he comes back and says to St. Peter, "Heaven is very nice and all, but hell looks great, so I've decided that I want to go to hell". So St. Peter puts him on the escalator down to hell.
When he gets there he sees Satan whipping people and there's fire everywhere and everyone is screaming in pain. So he goes over to Satan and says "Hey, what gives here? Yesterday I came here to check the place out and everyone had me partying and it looked like a great time. What happened?"
Satan looks at him and says "You used to be a property manager so you ought to know the answer to your own question. Yesterday you were a prospect. Today you're just another resident!"
abhelle15
08-28-2008, 05:30 PM
:p this is so cool
badzy
09-07-2008, 05:28 PM
any other jokes?hahaha
im not good at making people laugh hehe..dont have a joke to share:o
axinvestor
09-10-2008, 11:44 PM
I just tell them something to make them laugh. There are many ways to judge someones humor usually if your in a good mood and your talking see what makes them laugh, but try not to go to far if there very seriouse then just take it easy.
Realty Scalperz
09-13-2008, 09:53 PM
You guys are nuts!
Here is a funny one:
A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.'
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.'
The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'
:)
This couple was in the process of a divorice and decided to sell the family home of which they owned out right and split the profit and move on. The husband had left his wife for his secretary and wanted the divorice.
The wife being a realtor told the husband she take care of it and he signed all necessary paperwork. She listed the house for $1000.00 and sold it and sent him his half $500.00. This home was worth over $300,000.00.
I know you said it was, but it sounded more like something that really happened.
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